Today was a great day.

It's great to be dead. I woke up, lied there, and went back to sleep.

I have a wedgie

and I can't get it out.

Miserable Day

I had a miserable day in my grave today. The cemetery yards keeper kept mowing and it was extremely obnoxious. Being dead is still better than being alive though. lol.

5 Random Things

1. I think Otto von Bismarck is sexy
2. I have healthy saliva glands
3. If I wouldn't have been a school teacher I would have been part of a synchronized swim team
4. The only Biblical man I relate to is Job
5. I'm secretly Jewish

Checklist for dying

1. Decide how your going to die (if possible)
2. Decide where you're going to be buried (try to choose a really hard and obscure location)
3. Find someone who is willing to make your casket while you're still alive. That way you can inspect it
4. Have the casket made. try to choose material that will withstand fire and water
5. Cozy up with a depressing book and wait to die (this step may take the longest)

F My Life

I fondly remember the day I decided to create the now popular site, F My Life.
The first post was this:

When I was FINALLY dead, the only thing I asked my dipstick husband to do was to bring me to Jefferson. He tried to but then he brought me to the wrong Jefferson. FML

Personal Playlist

Here's a list of songs that I played on my secret gramophone before I died.

Meant to Die (The Used)
Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles)
Fundamentally Loathsome (Marilyn Manson)
The Day I Died (Just Jack)
In the Shadow of the Valley of Death (Marilyn Manson)


Here's the song I listened to after I died, on the way to Jefferson.

What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)